Rock 'n' Roll Space Patrol Action Is Go! - (NR - 2005)

Coming soon...

The Evolved (NR - 2006)

The Evolved is labeled as a comedy, but I have NO idea why. One of the first scenes involves full frontal male nudity, a box cutter, and an actor’s under-reaction so extreme, you’ll wonder if maybe he didn’t realize what was supposed to be happening to his genitalia.

Skipping mercifully ahead (as soon as you see the box cutter), you will find a wheelchair-bound, alcoholic ventriloquist's dummy with a falsetto voice too high for comfort. Keep skipping. If somehow you’ve gotten to Detective Danny Glover (just a character name—do not make the mistake of thinking this film has any real actors) bringing the dummy to bed, do yourself a favor and skip, skip, skip!

This is a good video to play “I Spy”. Can you spy the talking fetus? Can you spy the clearly marked box of heroin? Can you spy what keeps happening to Detective Glover? Can you spy the Nazi Pope?

If you want to be truly frightened, let the end play out. There’s supposed to be…a sequel!

Tomcat Angels (R - 1991)

Here's what I can make of the plot: babes with big hair somehow manage to graduate flight school and form their own squadron. Sex is had, and apparently due to lack of sleep Cassie (Callie? Carrie? Oh well, just read it on her helmet during one of the many up-the-nostril shots in the plane-less cockpit) crashes into enemy territory and is captured. Thrill to her many Salvation Army Thrift Store-inspired costumes and romantic escapades with an occasionally-accented Arab gunman! Gawk at the poorly-faked love-making scenes! Scratch your head in wonder as royalty-free music inexplicably drowns out 6th grade literary magazine dialogue! Find out why a spoon in a bouquet of dollar store silk flowers is a dangerous thing! Why waste an entire 85 minutes when you can watch it all in 5?!