Dumpster Baby

This movie, despite the name, actually has a few positives. One is the soundtrack, which rocks out darkly and is reminiscent of a John Carpenter film. Another positive is that the movie ends on an artsy/creepy note, actually like a horror movie.

Alright, did I say “a few” positives? I meant “two”.

The negatives are that the dialogue is nearly (thankfully?) impossible to hear, they could have done without most of the cast, and it takes more than an hour to get to the horror.

Things to keep in mind:
- Whenever the guy wearing a tie is on camera, it’s BOR-RING!
- The baby handles exactly like a doll and becomes a hot potato. See if you can catch all the passes!
- There are conveniently placed crazy people throughout. Just like real life.

Some lowlights:
2:30 - Woah. She’s…difficult to lift.
4:15 - How did she have a baby through her shorts? ("Tw@t blood" alert!)
10:50 - For which the movie was named.
11:30 - Unrealistic. What guy would stop his hooker from doing that to investigate crying?
25:30 - Rainman’s got the baby.
32:00 - Steve Buschemi’s got the baby.
34:00 - Completely inaudible Zorro gets the baby.
56:40 - Mary Catherine Gallagher finds the baby.
57:20 - Nice glasses. Downtrodden 80s woman has auditory hallucinations.
1:05:10 - Completely naked swan dive onto pavement. Male “Nell” with a sugar high finds the baby.
1:09:00 - FINALLY some horror! Creepy pass-though—Don’t miss it!
1:13:00 - Baby is back in the possession of original dumper. Great Ingmar Bergman-esque scenes.
1:16:34 - Guy who plays homeless drunk gives a very unconvincing, K-Fed caliber performance.
1:16:34 - Hey! It was just a dark cherry gummi after all.